Exceed Expectations

It is a little known fact that everyone forms subconscious expectations regarding EVERYTHING and EVERYONE! This might not be so bad, except that our expectations are rarely accurate, and almost always predispose us to place people, and everything else, into boxes. We form an expectation of a coworker or employee that they are consistently late, or make the same kind of errors over and over again, or lack competence in certain areas, etc. Before you know it, our expectations become the label for that person, event, or thing in our mind.

For more on this check ou the video below:

Inertia

Newton’s first law of motion, also called the law of inertia, is often stated as “An object at rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion, and in the same direction unless acted upon by an outside force.” Newton’s law was directed at physical objects, however, there is a lesson here that applies to processes and people as well. For instance, any process may eventually become so routine and formalized that it turns into bureaucratic dogma. When this happens, changing the process can be difficult, or nearly impossible.

For more on this check out the video below:

Taking and Giving Offense

When someone takes offense easily, the aphorism is that “they wear their emotions on their sleeve,” implying that their emotions are so near the surface that they are easily provoked. That provocation can come in any number of ways, for instance, a word, a facial expression, or even a touch can evoke a response seemingly out of proportion to the stimulus. People who wear their emotions on their sleeve are difficult to be around for any length of time because of the inevitability that something will eventually offend them and cause an emotional response.

For more on this check out the video below:

 

That’s Just Who I Am

“I call ‘em like I see ‘em,” “I’m direct, I say what I mean,” “I don’t pull my punches,” I’ll tell it to you straight.” Usually these kind of statements are followed by “that’s just who I am.” I think we can all appreciate being told the truth, but more often than not these kind of comments, and the vitriol that often accompanies them, amounts to nothing more than evidence of poor or nonexistent people skills (emotional intelligence).  If you are wearing that phrase like a badge of honor, proud of your personal integrity, the only one you are fooling is yourself.

For more on this check out the short video below:

Control of the Tongue

The book of James in the Bible, chapter 3:1-12 talks about the control of the tongue. James writes, ”We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.”(v.2) and “no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”(v8) There are many other references in the Bible regarding the difficulty in controlling what we say. This is such a common issue that our society has clichés which highlight the problem, like: “think before you speak,” or “foot-in-mouth disease,” or “stop running your mouth before you swallow your head.”

For more on this check out the short video below:

Find the Balance

You may have walked across a balance beam as a young person, or perhaps across a log stretching between the banks of a stream or gully. When we were growing up, my brother and I would walk across a log over an empty streambed, but when we got to the middle we would do whatever we could to get the other one to fall off. I learned quickly that, while it takes balance even to get across the log, when you are faced with challenges, keeping your balance can be much harder.

For more on this check out the short video below:

In the Moment

Mother Angelica said, “If I’m living in the future or I’m living in the past, I’m not receptive to the grace of the Present Moment.” For her, the Present Moment took on the importance of a sacrament. As she explains it:

…I was getting too caught up in the problems of each day. They would overwhelm me. At that point, I decided I couldn’t do that. You handle this moment, then the next, and then you forget about it and move on to the next moment. …to bear everything that happened today and everything that will happen tomorrow all at one time is too much for anyone. (Mother Angelica’s Little Book of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality)

For more on this check out the short video below:

Before You Respond . . .

The normal thing to do when attacked is to respond in kind, or run away. If someone yells at you, the natural inclination is to raise your own voice in response. If someone strikes you, the natural inclination is to strike them back. If someone sends you a critical email, the natural inclination is to send back an equally critical email. These are all natural reactions and in almost every case, these are the WRONG reactions. Responding in kind to these kinds of stimuli displays poor emotional intelligence and weak leadership skills.

For more on this check out the short video below:

 

A Little Paranoia is Healthy

A wise person will always understand that things rarely go as planned. Helmuth von Moltke stated: “No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.” It is good to have a plan, the sad truth, however, is that as often as not the plan doesn’t come together, at least as originally conceived. So, be prepared, at least mentally, for things to go awry. Always keep in mind the very real likelihood that you WILL need a plan ‘B,’ and perhaps even a plan ‘C’ and ‘D.’ This little bit of paranoia will give you the ability to accept reality as it unfolds, and be flexible in modifying the plan as necessary.

For more on this check out the short video below:

Blind Spots – Johari Window

The Johari window is a psychological tool that looks at self-awareness, specifically mapping awareness of our idiosyncrasies into a matrix of four blocks:

1) that which is known by ourselves and others,

2) that which is known by others but we don’t know it about ourselves,

3) that which we know about ourselves but others do not know, and

4) that which neither others or we ourselves know about our personality/behavior.

The reason I include this in a proverb is that self-knowledge is fundamental to wisdom.

For more on this check out the short video below: