Category Archives: Emotional Intelligence

Student / Instructor Issues (What Should I do?)

Posted on by
Reply

Sometimes issues arise between the student and the instructor. It can be attributed to a host of issues such as: the instructor is too harsh, the student hasn’t done the assigned work, the instructor doesn’t explain the material well, the student doesn’t pay attention in class, etc., and let’s not forget personality clashes. Scripturally speaking here are some principles that apply here:

Hebrews 12:14a – Make every effort to live in peace with everyone . . . .

1 Thessalonians 5:12 – We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you (ESV)

Matthew 18:15 – If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.

Proverbs 15:18 – A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel

The key in dealing with conflict with your instructor needs to start at that point, respect.  You may not feel you are being respected, but that doesn’t negate God’s call for you to show respect. Not only that but showing dis-respect can have a negative effect upon any possible outcome.

So, what should you do?

  1. Pray about it – Get the Lord’s perspective – some things are worth going to battle over and other things are not. Don’t let your ego and pride push you into a conflict where you have violated your own principles. If after prayer you still feel you need to proceed, then move on to the next step.
  2. Present your case to the Instructor with respect and without blame. In most cases, the issue turns out to be related to misunderstanding or miscommunication. Laying blame only pours gasoline on the fire. Is your goal to attribute blame or to find a resolution? If you lay aside your ego and seek to understand as well as be understood this will solve most problems. This is in line with Matthew 18:15 and yet too often I find that students skip this step.  If you still do not believe you have reached a satisfactory solution, go on to step three. Note that if you haven’t taken this step, the first thing the Dean is going to ask is whether or not you have discussed the issue with the instructor.
  3. Contact the Dean with your concerns. Remember, there are two sides to every story and the Dean will also get the Instructor’s side as well as yours, so be sure you are focusing on a solution. Be honest. If you say the Instructor’s grades are too low, but you leave out the fact that your work has been turned in late or not at all, the Dean will find out and it won’t support your case.

There are some cases when the Dean may have to step in and assist both parties in finding a solution. Remember, however, part of what the educational process teaches is the ability to work with people, some of whom we don’t get along with very well. Those with high EQ (emotional intelligence) navigate these relationships smoothly, while those of us with less EQ tend to get “self” in the way and create more problems for ourselves than solutions.

Start with the Word (Bible) and prayer and get the Lord’s perspective before you react.

 

“I’m Doing my Best”

Posted on by
Reply

Sometimes you will hear people say “ I’m doing my best” or “I tried my hardest”. Perhaps you have said these words yourself. Think about the last time you said those words – now be honest, was the effort you put forth really your BEST?  What is sad, is that more often than not those who say these words believe what they are saying.  . . . Check out the short video below for more on this:

5 Tips on Succeeding at College

Posted on by
Reply

Ok, you definitely DON’T want to drop out or quit before you graduate. Doing so will only leave you with a debt to pay back and no degree to support a better job or give you employment options. But, there are a lot of pressures on you: family, work, relationships, parents, kids, car problems, sitter problems, and on and on and on, which definitely can make quitting seem like an option.  IT IS NOT AN OPTION (say that a couple of times). You have invested too much to quit, and you are strong enough and smart enough to make it through to the end.

Here are a few tips that have worked for me.

  1. Don’t forget to pray. It may sound simple, even cliche`, but God does give strength and help. Praying can be a casual conversation that you can have at any time.  I also highly recommend some stray moments when you find a quiet place and write out your thoughts and concerns. I have found God really uses these times to help me find a perspective which can be easily lost in all the day-to-day pressures. Trust me in this, PRAYER does make a difference.
  2. Don’t miss a class except in an emergency. I know you can potentially miss a class without it affecting your grade, but when you do you are only short-changing yourself. The information in that class session could unleash the thought that could transform your understanding of the subject or even your life. Part of the benefit of any class session isn’t just the lectures and discussions, but how God works through them to give you epiphany’s of thought that be transformative.
  3. Take notes. You may not think you need to take notes, but that would be WRONG. Taking notes helps embed the information more firmly in your brain, allowing you to have better retention for tests, but more importantly allowing your brain to have fuel for solving real-life problems outside of class. Taking notes is one of the major secrets of those who succeed.
  4. Keep in mind that “all of life can be reduced to relationships.” This is something I believe with all my heart and soul.  No matter where you are at, God will use the relationships you have with those around you to improve you, or so that you can benefit them. We are never alone in our walk, although it can seem that way sometimes. Take a risk and reach out to the other students in your classes.  Begin to connect with them and you will find the class itself more enjoyable and your ability to stay the course enhanced.
  5. Speak up. Ask a question, get clarification, share an example that agrees with or disagrees with the point the Instructor is making. Make it a point to speak up, relative to the course, at least once each class session. There are several benefits that you reap by doing this: 1) You are more engaged in the discussion and will gain a better understanding, 2) You will retain the information better because you are making it more relevant to your own life, 3) Depending on your attitude, the Instructor will begin to see you as someone who wants to learn which creates a positive impression. Be genuine, but speak up!

Hope these tips help.  We are ALL pulling for you to finish the race and get that degree.

 

Excellence in All Things

Posted on by
Reply

The pendulum swing for all our actions ranges from no effort to a perfectionistic ideal which is impossible to achieve.  The medium point of the pendulum swing is “good enough.” Jim Collins wrote in his book “Good to Great” that “good is the enemy of great.” His point is that when we achieve good, most think that is “good enough.” I want to suggest there is a place beyond good that I’ve called Excellent.

For more on this check out the short video below:

Social Media

Posted on by
Reply

If you do not have and use a social media outlet, such as Twitter or LinkedIn, for personal and professional purposes you are missing a huge opportunity to share your experience and knowledge as well as draw upon the experience and knowledge of others. Having such an outlet and using it increases your credibility and benefits a larger audience. Benefiting the larger audience is a key part of social media.

For more on this check out the short video below:

Add Value to Everything You Do

Posted on by
Reply

The uppermost thought in your mind as you approach any task, position, or responsibility should be “How can I add value.”  This applies to every part of your life. You should always be asking yourself, “How can you take my skills, experience, education, resources and add value to the lines of others.”  Check out the short video below for more on this:

Leaders make decisions

Posted on by
Reply

In fact, that is one of the defining characteristics of a Leader: they make decisions. Leaders pull together information from a variety of sources and, based on their experience and education, they make a decision.  Sometimes the decisions made are good ones and other times not-so-good.  Typically if your good decisions outweigh your not-so-good decisions you are going the right direction.

For more on this check out this short video:

Defensive

Posted on by
Reply

When challenged, if your first thoughts and words are to defend your actions, to offer reasons or excuses, or find someone to blame…you are being defensive. When you respond defensively you effectively say that you are not qualified for leadership. If it happens often you might as well be saying “I’m not qualified for my position.” Phrases like “I was just…”or “But you don’t understand…” or “It’s not my fault” are defensive phrases.

For more on this, check out this short video:

All of life can be reduced to relationships

Posted on by
Reply

This is a fundamental principle of life.  Everything comes down to relationships. How we interact with others, and the quality of our relationships, is more indicative of potential success than how smart you are. Those who recognize this and work to maintain positive relationships are more likely to succeed, be healthier, happier, and have less stress in their lives.

For more on this check out the short video below: