Everybody needs a mentor

Really everybody needs multiple mentors across their entire life.  So get as many as possible. I have had a few that deeply influenced my life.  Some of my mentors taught me important lessons about what to do and how to live.  From others I learned lessons about what not to do and practices to avoid.  I don’t think I was very successful at finding or connecting with as many mentors as I could have.  Check out the short video below:

 

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

This is called the Golden Rule and those who practice this in every part of their life are worth their weight in Gold!  Let’s go one step farther; do unto others as you would like others to do unto your mother, daughter, or other loved one.  When we treat others as we would like to be treated not only do they love it, but there is an inner affirmation that we’ve done the right thing.  Check out the short video below:

 

Don’t react defensively . . .

Eventually, someone will confront you about some action you’ve taken or something you’ve said.  In your mind this may or may not seem be to fair.  Let me clairify something: your perception at this point is meaningless. Until you understand the perspective of the one confronting you, it will be impossible to move to a resolution.  Check out the short video below:

 

The Sweetest Sound

Dale Carnegie said that the sweetest sound to a person is the sound of their own name. One thing is sure: people who discipline themselves to learn and use the names of others in conversation give themselves an edge in dealing with people.  The ability to remember names is often discounted but it is probably one of the most important skills a leader can develop, particularly for those who understand the importance of relationships.  Check out the short video below:

 

Listen more than you talk

Listening more than talking is especially hard for some.  I want to encourage you to not merely listen, but to intensely listen, fiercely listen.  Listen not just to the words being said, but to the emotions behind them, and to the choice of the words used. Ask questions to clarify, and DON’T assume anything.  Really listen until you have heard and then listen some more.

 

Honest is the best policy

Honesty is the best policy!  In fact, it is the ONLY policy! Honesty is the most identified trait of Leaders that others want to follow. It may not be the trait which gets you promoted but it is definitely the trait that, if not practiced, will get you fired, lead to divorce, and see you alone with no friends.  Honesty does take courage, but it really is the best (and only) policy.

 

How to Increase Your Influence Using 5 Simple Words

This post comes from an article by Lolly Daskal by the same title:

Words have the power to build people up, hold people back, and break people down. The words you speak as a leader are especially influential, with the ability to empower or disempower others.

Of all the words you can say, five are especially meaningful in terms of influence:

How can I help you?

With those five words you communicate some important principles. Offering to help positions you as a servant leader, and asking how you can help shows respect and gives the other person ownership of their own future. The simple question “How can I help?” is at the core of the most influential things leaders do:  READ MORE

Suspect that the one you are talking to may be smarter than you are

Suspect that the one you are talking to may be smarter than you are. Always assume the person to whom you are talking is smarter than you are, or has access to more resources, or both. This is a good rule of thumb for eve3ry interaction and guarantees you won’t start the conversation by underestimating or demeaning others. Even if it is not true you might learn something that you didn’t know that will help you make better decisions.

Simple solutions are better than complex solutions

Simple solutions are better than complex solutions. The reason for this lies in two areas (1) Availability of resources, which includes time, material resources, and money.  Also included here but often overlooked is sufficient staff with the appropriate skills to make the solution work.  (2) execution, i.e., the ability and authority to follow-through to completion.  For more on this see video below.

 

 

How to get along with negative people

This post comes from an article by Lolly Daskal by the same title.

Negative people show up in our professional and personal lives on a regular basis. There never seems to be a shortage of negativity.

We all know people who are hard to deal with because of their negativity. Some are too demanding or abrasive. Others may be arrogant or emotionally abusive.

Whatever form their negativity takes, it makes communication stressful, and a wrong approach can make matters even worse.

Most of the time, we can’t choose whom we do business with. But we can choose how to interact with them. Over my three decades of experience as an executive leadership coach, I have been helping my clients learn how to get along with everyone they encounter, even those who are so negative they’re downright toxic.

READ her 8 points on specific ways to deal with negative people.